So Election 2010 continues with the posturing and mud slinging between different political parties in full swing. As always it is education and healthcare that seem to get the majority of the attention, I just hope this time that someone starts to come up with solutions for the chronic problem of league tables. A blight that is massively failing a generation of learners.

League tables are causing schools to only concentrate on struggling pupils, or to simply make sure everyone passes. We’ve already seen that some schools are entering students in what they consider ‘easy’ subjects to ensure they get good grades; and I know from several colleagues that the pressure in our school is to focus on ‘borderline’ pupils to make sure they get their vital C grade, and not to worry about moving some of the brighter kids from a B to an A.

High aspirations are entirely gone, teaching today seems to be about being average and doing the minimum – everything is ab0ut league tables. We  have endless meeting about them, are shown spread sheets with targets and projected outcomes on. Teachers are being singled out for praise when everyone in their class is getting a C. This is not teaching, it’s target hitting.

Whoever gets voted in on 6th May needs address this problem, as much as they do any other, and yet it seems from all their manifestos that it will just be the same old same old.

There are few things more irritating in the world than answering the question “Sir, are we nearly there, yet?” for the hundred-millionth time on a school trip. I can’t imagine how the teachers and students stuck at airports because of the ash cloud were feeling last week.

I’m sure the Geography teachers out there had a great time explaining the real-life application of their subject. After a few days of vulcanology (as in volcanoes, not Star Trek) lectures, though, I’m sure even they would run out of things to say.

An article in the Guardian mentioned some interesting solutions including assemblies via webcam, e-mailing lessons to the students or even online tutorials. I think it’s great that teachers and schools have come up with such creative solutions. and maybe in the future these ideas could be developed into a support network for students who have to miss a large chunk of school for another reason, such as hospitalisation.

I hope everyone affected by this will be able to get back to normal as soon as possible. If you were stuck waiting in an airport (or are still there), please share your story with us by leaving a comment.

So the Blues, the Reds and the Yellows have had their say, they’ve pontificated about standards and change and laid our their Manifestos of the Mostest. But what do they really say?

Having finally spent the holidays having a look at the three main options – because, really, that’s all there is – a few things strike me:

• They are all really similar, especially Labour and the Tories, one of whom must have definitely copied off the other in the manifesto exam.
• Academies, despite what everyone says, are here to stay in some form or another - whoever you vote for (though make sure it’s not the Lib Dems because ‘Sponsor Managed Schools’, sounds rather scary, and alarmingly vague)
• Labour have promised to protect budgets from spending cuts, but they’ve not said how, and I’d like to know being as they haven’t managed to do this so far.
• The old problem of how you really establish what is ‘Good’ is raising its ugly head again, especially if teachers are to be paid more if they’re Good, under the Tories. I just think this will lead to lots of teachers trying to hit ‘good’ targets (which are arbitrary at best anyway), without actually teaching.
• I am very concerned about Labour’s plans to have parents ‘initiate change’ at schools. How, when, why? When most of them can’t be bothered to feed or discipline their kids, why on earth do they get a say in how I do my job?
• How, and in what way, is the Education Standards Authority any different from Ofsted?

Overall, it just reeks of more of the same – which means they seem to think things are ok with education. Which they are categorically not.

Today’s image is from: i.thisislondon.co.uk

The first rule of Chess Club is: you do not talk about Chess Club. The second rule of Chess Club is: you DO NOT talk about Chess Club! – I’ve heard those rules somewhere before but I couldn’t resist sharing them again, especially after what happened to me at Chess Club last week.

Now, I don’t actually run the chess club at school but the teacher who does was sick so I stepped in to fill his shoes. When I was a student, the kids in the chess club were fairly quiet types so I assumed that sitting watching over a group of students playing chess would be a fairly easy thing to do at lunchtime.

The problem is, I forgot the 8th rule of Chess Club – If this is your first time at Chess Club, you have to play! I am a terrible chess player but lunchbreak is quite short so I figured if I could just not lose and hold out until the bell, I’d be able to walk away with my dignity intact.

No such luck! I lost, twice. Unfortunately, I had already broken the first rule of Chess Club before I even got there and told my colleagues what I was doing at lunch. When they asked me how it went later in the day, I had to admit to getting trounced twice.

Motto of the story? Chess Club has rules for a reason. Don’t break them!

Today’s image is by Fabibel.

After Rosie’s post on another dose of health and safety insanity, and the subsequent comments from teachers about how common sense has long since deserted the classroom, I thought it would be prudent to share this little gem that someone forwarded to me recently; a supposeduly genuine obituary for Common Sense…

“Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well -intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.  It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason….

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.”

Amazing really that at least half of the decline of Common Sense is atrributed to the recurrent instances of woeful idiocy that litter our schools. Amazing, but not suprising.

Today’s image is from spring.org.uk

I don’t know how many education academics it takes to change a light bulb, but if this article in the Guardian is anything to go by, it takes at least 14. Of course, most teachers are able to change a light bulb by themselves, as long as they have the required health and safety permit for using a ladder!

The article isn’t actually about light bulbs, though. It’s about a group of 14 leading education academics who – presumably after extensive research, pondering, and tea-drinking – came up with the revolutionary idea that political intervention in schools is ‘counterproductive and damaging’.

Now, education academics don’t change light bulbs themselves. They prefer telling other people how to do it then analysing the results from the safety of their university campuses. Sometimes, this results in great teaching advice. A lot of the time, though, it just results in fads that aren’t practical in a real classroom situation.

This time, however, I think they have done themselves proud and come up with a very sensible solution. Placing emphasis on the actual lightbulb-changers and letting them use their lightbulb-changing experience to change light bulbs effectively, without being micro-managed by a bunch of politicians who’ve never felt the hot glass of a freshly burnt-out bulb on their own fingers, is a great idea.

It’s such a great idea, in fact, that I’m surprised it hasn’t been thought of already. Hang on a minute… It has already been thought of – by just about every teacher in the country. When two people invent or discover the same thing in different places with no influence on each other, it might be considered independent invention.

However, when an entire profession comes up with the same idea, it’s just common sense. Why does this common sense have to reach the government in such a roundabout way? Why can’t they just go to a school and ask a teacher?

I’m not proposing that schools should be based entirely on suggestions from teachers, but when the feedback channels between teachers and those in charge become so convoluted and clogged up with paperwork that even simple, common sense needs to be delivered to them by education academics, it’s time for a change.

Maybe some of the changes suggested by these academics will be taken on board, maybe not. Either way, I applaud them for getting these ideas into the public eye. It’s just a shame that it needs to come from educational academics rather than directly from teachers in order to get any attention.

Today’s image is by Gabriel Del castillo.

Thanks freedigitalphotos.net

My assistant head says this ALL the time. And most of the time she’s overreacting. I know that things have changed from the days when kids ran around and bumped their heads and got up and carried on, but the world is changing and it’s more dangerous than it used to be. I don’t see anything wrong with looking after our children; and so generally I agree with the increasingly restrictive rules they place on us each day.

Until a couple of weeks ago. I was talking to my class of 20 children, when one of the parents whose child has been unwell came to speak to me, with said sickly child in tow. I invited them into the classroom, sat the sicky child down with a book, set the rest of the class about painting, and chatted briefly with the parent. Five minutes had gone by, when the bursar came charging in to tell me that I was ‘violating’ code of practice. I was now in the sole prescence of 21 children, which went against the strict 20:1 children:teacher ratio. It didn’t matter that her mother was there, or that the child was within reaching distance of two adults. No, no. Common sense was not to prevail here. This tiny, ill child was putting us all at risk.

“What shall  I do?” I asked the bursar.

“Well, she’ll have to go in the corrdior,” she replied. So the the tiny, ill child was sent to sit on her own, in the dark corridor on her own; (apparently that’s ok, it’s only when she’s being monitored along with 20 other children that she’s in danger, she’s much safer alone with no supervision), while I finished speaking to her mother.

This time, something has definitely gone mad. It was me.

I’ve noticed a lot of people talking about pupils giving teachers presents in the news recently. The Guardian says it “creates insecurity in parents and staff”, while Mary Bousted was quoted in the Times as saying “The teachers did not want or expect embarrassingly large presents because they become quite stressful”.

I was intrigued by the list the Times has of some of the “thousands of pounds’ worth of gifts” gifts that teachers had been given, including “a Tiffany bracelet, Mulberry handbag and opera tickets”. Where on earth does this teacher work? The only gifts I’ve ever been given at school are a Snickers bar and half a bottle of Sprite that were left over after a class party.

I know some of the teachers mentioned in this article seem to feel that these gifts are some kind of bribe or put them under pressure to be particularly nice to one child above others. I feel the same way about this as I do about other ‘bonuses’ and ‘incentives’. If people were paid enough to their jobs as well as they could every day, ‘bonuses’, ‘incentives’, or gifts from parents wouldn’t make any difference. If you are already giving 100% every day, only taking a course in management jargon or motivational psuedo-babble will enable you to give any more.

Frank Chalk has a much healthier attitude to present giving. Encouraging competition with present-giving could result in parents feeling uncomfortable, though. I think the logical solution to this is to make end of term gifts compulsory but set a limit, maybe £1000 or so (just so that things don’t get out of hand).

Presents could be given anonymously, too. It would be the perfect solution. Teachers would get loads of nice gifts at the end of term but don’t know who they are from so they can’t be accused of favouritism. Parents would be able to donate generous gifts to teachers as a true expression of gratitude and without it being construed as some kind of bribe or display of socio-economic status.

I bet my Amazon wish list would look great displayed on the new interactive whiteboard in my classroom. I could even use it to show the students how to pre-order an iPad for me.

Today’s image is by Kym McLeod.

This made me laugh. A school consultant went into a school and asked the staff to list the schools rules. Not one of them could. This was partly because there were nearly 40 of them. It was also because everyone knows that there are two types of school rules. The ones written down in the school handbook. And the ones you personally make up for your classroom (and own personal survival).

For instance:

• All girls called Amber are brats; do not ever give them homework extensions, because they’ll take advantage and you’ll have to fail them. And then their mothers will come in and tell you you know nothing about teaching. (This has happened a total of three times now).
• Also be wary of Vickis, Dillons, Leons and Louises….
• Opening all the windows in the middle of winter is the only way to get the attention of the tramps girls who sit at the back of the class, ignoring you and painting their nails.
• Trying to discuss football with your class will only make you look stupid. Colin Firth might have managed it in Fever Pitch. But he’s not real.
• If you have spent a lot of time putting together a great whiteboard presentation, it will break and die at the crucial moment. Always have paper back ups. Always.

Every Child Matters is a good thing (depsite what Dan says); and I do think it makes a difference – I know some of the kids in our school have chances they might not before, and that we’ve started to notice things or be able to report things that before would have been missed. But my god it’s a lot of work. This term so far I have:

• Started a club on dealing with bullying (Stay Safe)
• Cleared, planted and maintained a veggie patch  for the canteen (Be healthy)
• Opened and run a school bank for a week (Economic Wellbeing)
• Started extra reading with the less able kids (Enjoy and Achieve)
• Gone out with the older kids in the snow to sweep the driveways of the elderly. (Make a positive contribution)

And my reward? Being made Director of ECM for the entire school. “We’ve made a good start with ECM, and I know Rosie will really be able to make it a reality,” said the head. What the hell was it before? A rehearsal?