We encouraged all our children to give something up during Lent. Either a food they liked, or television (yeah, funnily no one took up that option); computer games etc. The idea was to teach them about religous fasting, and also to get some discussions going about doing without, poverty, the concept of not having something you loved.

 Most of them went for a food. Chocolate, sweets, biscuits, meat etc. And it was going well, the children were keeping diaries about their experiences and what they missed. We had some good assemblies on fasting, and also on poverty in Africa and parts of Asia.

And then I was on lunch duty. One of the boys – we’ll call him Horrible Harry (it’s quite appropriate I assure you) – was screaming at the dinner lady. I intervened and it transpired that Harry was giving up vegetables for Lent – so couldn’t, not wouldn’t eat broccoli, spinach or carrots that day. Clever kid I thought, but called his parents anyway to explain how the ‘giving up’ scenario worked. 

“Oh we understand,” his mum assured me. “But he wanted to give up vegetables. And he doesn’t like them anyway so we thought it would be a good solution. And he wouldn’t find it too difficult.”

“Yes, but he’s supposed to give up something he likes. So he understands about not having things; it’s meant to be a learning experience for him. It’s not meant to be easy.”

“Oh.” She paused. “Well actually, he really loves vegetables. Yeah, loves ‘em. Tomatoes and carrots and all that. So, yeah. It’s hard for ‘im.” And she hung up on me.

Now I have to explain to a hundred other children who have given up things they love, why this child gets to give up something he hates. And you what they’ll say? And they’re right. It’s not fair.

And the shock of rising early in the morning seems to hurt all over again. And my desk appears to have been attacked my more woodworm. And this morning a note arrived on said holey desk asking if I would bring the work I’ve done on my ‘Improvement Plan’ to the head’s office this afternoon so we can discuss it. Well that shouldn’t be too difficult, because I havent’ done it. A nice short meeting then.

…about the start of term are:

1) How cold my classroom is for about three days until it is eventually warmed solely by the breath of my students. Not, the radiator, obviously.

2) How, without fail, despite numerous traps, another mouse has eaten through the whiteboard cable.

3) The overlong and tedious ‘catch up’ meetings we have with the SLT. What is there to catch up? I ate turkey, drank too much, and New Year was disappointing – nothing changes.

4)  The fact that mocks are in about three days.

5) My end-of-holiday headache that takes exactly nine and half days to shift; without fail.

Worst thing of all is that I don’t forsee any time to go to the gym this term. New Year, New Dress size?