Over the weekend my classroom was painted, finally. It’s been begging for a makeover for at least five years – cracks and peeling paint are so last decade. What would Kevin Mcloud say?  So, I requested all white walls except for one bright red wall which I thought would give the kids enough stimulation and colour, without sending them insane. However, somewhere along the way my request got rather lost in translation and the entire classroom is now some kind of rancid green.

The caretaker swears it’s pistachio – it’s a very seasick pistachio if that’s the case – and said that it was approved by the bursar because green was more ‘cost-effective’ than red. I don’t know about the current costs of cheap green paint – but I can’t believe the difference was so much that they couldn’t have managed one wall of red paint. What this smacks of is the usual purse strings bureaucracy that we are increasingly dealing with in schools. Jobsworth, glorified accountants who have to change what you’ve requested simply because they CAN. I know they’re stretched for cash, but splitting hairs over some paint really is going too far.

That said, the silver lining on this pistachio cloud was the reaction of my class – a real bunch of little treasures for once – who politely told me how great it looked, before setting about, like a tiny interior design army, sticking up their art homework all over it. And little Timmy even passed this inspired comment on it: “Miss, it’s not red. But now it’s not peeling. Lovely jubbly.” And promptly sat down. Out of the mouths of babes. I feel a classwide gold star coming on.

I know they say they’re putting billions into education but I swear to god I haven’t seen any of it yet. I’m still freezing in an unheated classroom and eating soggy ginger biscuits dipped in crap tea in a chipped Arsenal mug. (NOT mine).  Honestly the state of education today.…

Oh I see this, this is where it’s going. On first class rail tickets. Well that is reassuring and really great great news. Because train travel today is challenging and difficult, and there’s no way government officials could manage to come up with as many ‘innovative’, ‘inspiring’ and down right ridiculous initatives without travelling to meetings in warmth, comfort and style. I feel so reassured and calmed by this news; I know that education is safe in the hands of namby pampy wimps with a skewed perception of what really matters.

Actually, why am I suprised. This is how it’s always been right?